Correcting the MYTH About Your Kids and Your Family History

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Learn about correcting the MYTH About Your Kids and Your Family History. It has been a loud and extended cry over the past 2-3 years that “Your Kids Don’t Want Your History!”. This prolonged warning, which verges on the edge of a doomsday style prediction, is, frankly, wrong.

I, too, have heard the many stories of rejections of the beloved family items by the next generation from friends, colleagues, and of course my own clients. It’s something that cuts across all social levels and is shored up by nearly 20 articles over the last five years from revered sources such as the New York Times. The latest trends of younger generations sorting through material items to determine true worth for the space they occupy and embracing the joys of minimalism, also seems to support the issue.

And yet, I want to let you know that what is being said/shared/propagated isn’t an accurate assessment of the situation. While it is true that thoughts and feelings about family heirlooms – in whatever form have changed as the population has shifted from the Baby Boomers to subsequent generations, those changes aren‘t: a) always a bad thing; b) as “cut and dried” as we are being led to believe; c) set in stone or irreversible.

Nothing hits home to more people than a crisis. Manufactured or real, it gets our attention and sets us on a task to determine what must be done to make it stop. But let’s look at what is really happening before we follow the growing lament of this supposed catastrophe.

Currently, we are at an historic point of having two generations alive and retired at the same time. In times past, one generation retired, passed along their worldly possessions and died while the next was still in their prime of life. This life-cycle worked okay up to and including the Greatest Generation. At the time, there wasn’t that much to pass along and there was a practical reuse aspect that was appealing. The Post-WWII period, with its rampant consumerism, national optimism, innovations, and the advent of the suburban home, fostered the accumulation of things in quantities never before seen and we had larger
places to store it all. However, the fact that the next generations are realizing that there isn’t an
actual purpose or need to having all of these things, and that a good life is more than the gathering of stuff, might be seen as a necessary reversal of a bad trend that really has not served us well on many levels. It may, in fact, be more of a natural correction to excess than a blatant disregard for family history.

However, besides the fact that it isn’t an all bad situation, saying the next generation doesn’t want your stuff is itself a misleading idea. It also hits a strong emotional trigger for most of us. As humans we like the idea of being remembered. We see the items we collect as points on a timeline that demonstrate our existence and, we hope, helps later generations recall this fact. The error we make is in determining what items will tell that story. Everyone imbues items with memories – but seldom do we select the same items to hold those recollections. I may get misty-eyed when I see a particular dish, or memories of grandma may reside in a wooden spoon or apron. Others who were present in the same time and space might place their memories into different items. As older adults, we mistakenly assume we know – from all we have amassed – what things will tell the next generation about our place in history. The better route is to talk about family history with younger generations and understand what items mean the most to them, then, help ensure they obtain those items – if indeed they want them. The stories on their own just may be enough.

Learning more about correcting the MYTH About Your Kids and Your Family History. Finally, if you want to successfully give, or leave, something for someone, it is imperative that you share the story associated with a particular item. A piece of jewelry, a painting, or that HUGE armoire that hasn’t moved from its spot in 30 years, all have a story embedded into it, which is why you want to pass it on. Don’t expect others to have that same deep feeling for that item if you don’t bother telling them why it matters to you – you are part of its story.

As mentioned above, just taking things because your family has left them for you is no longer practical – and perhaps never was. Why not help your family make decisions they won’t regret later and tell them why things are important to you? While it won’t guarantee they’ll take it, you may discover that the item isn’t as important as the memory and can agree to let it go. Regardless of what happens to that 24-piece formal china set with accompanying cut-glass goblets, you will have captured your family history and successfully marked your place in it for generations to come.

Dealing with family history items can be confusing and stressful. We are here to help. Reach out to us if you need assistance or have questions.
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A Stately Mansion Turned Hospital During the Civil War

A Stately Mansion Turned Hospital During the Civil War
By John F. Cummings III

Brompton, the former Mayre Mansion is a stately mansion turned hospital during the Civil War. It stands atop the western heights that overlook the old city of Fredericksburg. Along these heights, extending into a five-mile front, Confederate force dominated the scene, despite going against a Union force nearly twice its size on December 13, 1862. Roughly 17,000 casualties would come out of this battle. In the aftermath, facilities to treat the wounded of both sides was badly needed. Brompton became a hospital for the Confederates who would continue to hold this ground. In May 1863, Confederates once again held the heights temporarily, during the Chancellorsville Campaign. One year later, Union forces would occupy and utilize Fredericksburg as a vast hospital center during the first weeks of the Overland Campaign. The wounded were transported some fifteen miles from the Wilderness battlefield, west of town, and ten miles from Spotsylvania’s fighting ground to the southwest. The following images illustrate Brompton’s use as a Union hospital in May 1864.

The Mayre mansion survives today as a stately mansion turned hospital during the Civil War. Although bearing visible scars of battle on its walls, it serves as the private residence of the president of the University of Mary Washington, which shares the heights as its campus. Not open to the general public, the house and grounds are occasionally made available for tours and academic study. The University of Mary Washington has one of the finest Historic Preservation departments in the United States, and many of its graduates have gone on to exceptional careers with the National Park Service, and other fine institutions.

A Stately Mansion Turned Hospital During the Civil War
Wounded Union soldiers recuperate under a giant oak near the house. This remarkable tree has survived over a century and a half since the taking of this image credited to Mathew Brady and Company. These soldiers were injured during the fighting around Spotsylvania in May 1864.

A Stately Mansion Turned Hospital During the Civil War
Photographer James Gardner’s view of the home’s front porch shows treated soldiers recovering from their wounds. Former Confederate rifle pits cut across the lawn in the foreground, a reminder of the battles fought on this ground December 1862, and May 1863. A large pediment was added to the façade of the home in postwar years, but a precise date is unknown.

A Stately Mansion Turned Hospital During the Civil War
In April 1866, a Union surgeon, Dr. Reed Brockway Bontecou, brought a photographic entourage with him a year after the war’s end, to tour and document the battlefields around Fredericksburg. Bontecou was the chief surgeon at Harewood Hospital near Washington, D.C. This view shows the many pockmarks left by bullets and artillery shell fragments in the December 1862 battle.

A Stately Mansion Turned Hospital During the Civil War
Another James Gardner photograph shows soldiers seeking shade as they recover on the north lawn of the Maryre property. Rooms on either end of the main entrance hall served as operating theaters where men with wounded limbs often faced amputation. Removed limbs were often put out an open window where they collected in a pile for later removal. The open window, at left of center, is in one of the rooms used for surgery. In recent years, it has been used as a music room for the University president’s family.

John Cummings is a visual historian and the author of three books on the Fredericksburg/Spotsylvania region. He provides battlefield guide services, and research assistance to visitors. He has also written for several national and local magazines and newspapers, and provided historical research and commentary for four documentary films. He served on the former Spotsylvania Courthouse Tourism and Special Events Commission, and as chairperson for the former Friends of the Fredericksburg Area Battlefields, (FoFAB).

Contact information is available on his blog at: http://spotsylvaniacw.blogspot.com/